Saturday, 8 November 2014

Do You Continue To Make The Same Mistakes With Men Over and Over?




"Be Open To Learning A New Way"

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why you are clinging to ideas, beliefs, and habits that don't produce the desired results in your romantic relationships?  

It really is foolish to keep going into one relationship after another behaving in the same manner - then being disappointed when you get the results that you have always gotten. 

When something is not working ladies, no matter what it is, you must be open to changing your strategy and learning a new way of doing things.  If that doesn't work - then you keep searching until you find one that does; but it is really foolish to keep doing the same things over and over again expecting different results.  Is it so important to you to be right, that you would rather continue to do wrong?

I can remember the very first time I spoke in front of a group of women, most of whom wanted to be married, but were living with men instead.  One young lady was so determined to be right about living with her boyfriend, she started to cry while protesting and totally disrupted the entire gathering when I defended my stance about living with a man when you really want to be married.

I learned a very valuable lesson that evening, "you can lead a horse to the water, but you can't make it drink".  Hence, from that day to this - I don't argue with women who are not trying to hear what I'm trying to teach.  And, I've recently learned not to allow opinionated people to upstage my forum.  If you got something to say - create your own stage and get off of mine.

Think about it, the definition of insanity really is continuing to behave in the same manner expecting different results".  Change your crazy dating behavior and you really will change your life! 




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An Older & Wiser Sinead O'Connor Advises Miley!!!


 Will Miley Listen?  Probably Not!

As all of you know, I am an advocate for women being treated with dignity, pride and self-respect.  More importantly, for women to conduct and treat themselves with dignity, pride and self-respect.  

When I read Sinead O'Connor's letter to Miley, it really warmed my heart. Now Britney Spears has spoken out about the pressures of being hyper-sexualised, especially when it comes to her racy music videos. 

I hope I am not being to optimistic, but I'm hoping a trend is being set that will lead women back to the olden days when women weren't influenced by the media, and took pride in behaving like a lady. Below is heart-warming letter to Miley from Sinead:

Dear Miley,
I wasn’t going to write this letter, but today i’ve been dodging phone calls from various newspapers who wished me to remark upon your having said in Rolling Stone your Wrecking Ball video was designed to be similar to the one for Nothing Compares… So this is what I need to say… And it is said in the spirit of motherliness and with love.

I am extremely concerned for you that those around you have led you to believe, or encouraged you in your own belief, that it is in any way ‘cool’ to be naked and licking sledgehammers in your videos. It is in fact the case that you will obscure your talent by allowing yourself to be pimped, whether its the music business or yourself doing the pimping.

Nothing but harm will come in the long run, from allowing yourself to be exploited, and it is absolutely NOT in ANY way an empowerment of yourself or any other young women, for you to send across the message that you are to be valued (even by you) more for your sexual appeal than your obvious talent.

I am happy to hear I am somewhat of a role model for you and I hope that because of that you will pay close attention to what I am telling you.

The music business doesn’t give a shit about you, or any of us. They will prostitute you for all you are worth, and cleverly make you think its what YOU wanted.. and when you end up in rehab as a result of being prostituted, ‘they’ will be sunning themselves on their yachts in Antigua, which they bought by selling your body and you will find yourself very alone.

None of the men oggling you give a shit about you either, do not be fooled. Many’s the woman mistook lust for love. If they want you sexually that doesn’t mean they give a fuck about you. All the more true when you unwittingly give the impression you don’t give much of a fuck about yourself. And when you employ people who give the impression they don’t give much of a fuck about you either. No one who cares about you could support your being pimped… and that includes you yourself.

Yes, I’m suggesting you don’t care for yourself. That has to change. You ought be protected as a precious young lady by anyone in your employ and anyone around you, including you. This is a dangerous world. We don’t encourage our daughters to walk around naked in it because it makes them prey for animals and less than animals, a distressing majority of whom work in the music industry and it’s associated media.

You are worth more than your body or your sexual appeal. The world of showbiz doesn’t see things that way, they like things to be seen the other way, whether they are magazines who want you on their cover, or whatever… Don’t be under any illusions… ALL of them want you because they’re making money off your youth and your beauty… which they could not do except for the fact your youth makes you blind to the evils of show business. If you have an innocent heart you can’t recognise those who do not.

I repeat, you have enough talent that you don’t need to let the music business make a prostitute of you. You shouldn’t let them make a fool of you either. Don’t think for a moment that any of them give a flying fuck about you. They’re there for the money… we’re there for the music. It has always been that way and it will always be that way. The sooner a young lady gets to know that, the sooner she can be REALLY in control.

You also said in Rolling Stone that your look is based on mine. The look I chose, I chose on purpose at a time when my record company were encouraging me to do what you have done. I felt I would rather be judged on my talent and not my looks. I am happy that I made that choice, not least because I do not find myself on the proverbial rag heap now that I am almost 47 yrs of age… which unfortunately many female artists who have based their image around their sexuality, end up on when they reach middle age.

Real empowerment of yourself as a woman would be to in future refuse to exploit your body or your sexuality in order for men to make money from you. I needn’t even ask the question… I’ve been in the business long enough to know that men are making more money than you are from you getting naked. Its really not at all cool. And its sending dangerous signals to other young women. Please in future say no when you are asked to prostitute yourself. Your body is for you and your boyfriend. It isn’t for every spunk-spewing dirtbag on the net, or every greedy record company executive to buy his mistresses diamonds with.

As for the shedding of the Hannah Montana image… whoever is telling you getting naked is the way to do that does absolutely NOT respect your talent, or you as a young lady. Your records are good enough for you not to need any shedding of Hannah Montana. She’s waaaaaaay gone by now … Not because you got naked but because you make great records.

Whether we like it or not, us females in the industry are role models and as such we have to be extremely careful what messages we send to other women. The message you keep sending is that its somehow cool to be prostituted… its so not cool Miley… its dangerous. Women are to be valued for so much more than their sexuality. we aren’t merely objects of desire. I would be encouraging you to send healthier messages to your peers… that they and you are worth more than what is currently going on in your career. Kindly fire any motherfucker who hasn’t expressed alarm, because they don’t care about you.



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Is It Possible To Be Single & Happy?

"Truer Words Have Never Been Spoken"

       "Happiness comes from within, not from men".  WOW, that's powerful.  Unfortunately, there are women who make themselves totally miserable when they don't have a man in their life.  I've witnessed this behavior even within my own family.  Lucky for me, I have always managed to make myself happy with or without a man.  As a matter of fact, I have to admit that I've been most happiest when I'm single rather than when married.  

      Hindsight is 20/20, and I now realize that both of my bad marriages and ensuing unhappiness, stemmed solely from my selecting the wrong mate.  I can say that, because I truly believe that women do themselves as well as men, a huge injustice when they marry a man they don't  admire, respect or look up to.  So basically, I got what I deserved.  

       Back to the subject at hand, why are you unhappily single? Being single has it privileges, as it affords you the opportunity to do whatever you want, when you want, and how you want, without having to consider the feelings, wants or desires of a husband.  Not that considering the feelings, wants or desires of a loving husband is a bad thing - because it's NOT!  The benefits of marriage far outweigh the cons when you chose him wisely.   

       If  you are not enjoying your single status, I would bet it is because you don't have a life.  You are one of those single women who is sitting around waiting on a man to come into your life and provide a life for you.  If that's the case - that is pathetic - get a life girl!!!  Not only will getting a life boost your self-esteem, you will meet new people, make new friends and become a more interesting person with interesting things to talk about, other than what's wrong with your life.    
    


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SELECTING THE RIGHT MAN TO BRING INTO YOUR LIFE IS CRUCIAL!


27-year old Joseph Patterson
 "It Could Very Well Be A Matter of Life & Death"

Joseph Patterson, is the boyfriend of  Ann "Ashley" Doohen.  Ms. Doohen is the baby mama of NFL star Adrian Peterson's 2-year old son, whom Patterson beat to death while babysitting him in the Sioux Falls, South Dakota apartment of Ms. Doohen.

Joseph Patterson, reportedly has a history of domestic violence and was indicted in 2012, on various counts of simple assault involving the beating of his former girlfriend and her toddler son.  He was then sentenced to a year behind bars for violating a restraining order, but ended up with a suspended sentence because he agreed to attend domestic violence counseling.   What a crying shame, and the circumstances of which an innocent baby had to die.

Ladies, you have really got to start taking this dating game very seriously, starting first and foremost with YOU!  It is imperative that you fall madly in love with yourself and boost that self-esteem to the highest degree prior to dating.  So many heartaches, and in this case tragedies can be avoided if we take these steps prior to getting in the dating game.

It's a fact, that a woman who  loves herself, takes all of the necessary precautions to protect herself, and she holds herself to high standards in virtually every area of her being.  She is never satisfied with anything less than the best for herself, which includes a man, and she constantly strives to be the best HER she can possibly be in order to attract high caliber men!

Prayerfully, this post will motivate you to do the necessary work to fall in love with yourself, instigate some major changes within, and alter any unprincipled behavior with men.  Subsequently, armed with a hefty dose of self-love and high self-esteem, you will go on to select and marry a great guy of high caliber.  The type of guy who will protect you, adore you and treat you just as you do yourself - with plenty of love, dignity, pride and respect!



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The Quintessence of Being A Woman!


I received an e-mail this weekend in regard to feminine women that really got me to thinking, as it is so apparent that women today are veering more and more from femininity towards masculinity.  Which really is a shame.

Women today complain that chivalry among men is dead, yet few of us stand back and allow a man to help us into cars, take charge on dates, or even instigate a date.  As women, we have done an excellent job of proving that we are perfectly capable of "killing our own snakes" so-to-speak.  We have had to learn how to fend for ourselves, because for the most part, most of us grew up in 'man-less' households.  

As adults, many of us are single, living alone, and have no choice but to fend for ourselves.  These circumstances, as well as others have forced us to assume masculine roles. Not only that we are successfully running our own businesses, and proficiently running things as CEO's and other supervisory positions in the workplace.

In other words, we have proven that we can 'man-up', when we need to in any given situation.  But, has femininity been sacrificed as a result?  No one will argue that we now live in an egalitarian society, a society where it's totally unacceptable not to be treated as equal based upon race or gender.  And, that's a good thing.  However, we must embrace our feminine differences and re-learn how to love being a woman in spite of seeking equal rights as human beings.

As we are learning to love ourselves, let's not negate loving being a woman!  Get deep within yourself and clearly define your own femininity and what it means to you.  While making this determination for myself, I ran across this awesome article,"9 Reasons I Love Being A Woman", it clearly outlines the privileges, benefits and thrills of being a woman.  I loved it - check it out, and wallow in the essence of being a woman, and don't forget to comment, I love reading your comments.


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Becoming More Feminine Starts With Self-Love!


 

Any form of self-improvement starts with learning to love yourself unconditionally and putting an unprecedented value on your self-worth!  Loving yourself is all about respecting and valuing yourself.  

The Internet is a highway of  information that will help you to do virtually anything.  As I was surfing the web to find ways for loving yourself, this article stuck out from the rest, Please take the time to read it.  It gives excellent tips on the very crucial task you have ahead of you in learning to love yourself.  I was also reminded by a very loyal reader, of a post I wrote about my first husband's mother several years back.  Unfortunately, she is now deceased.

I have never met a woman who loved herself more than this woman did, or one who took better care of herself.  Consequently, she has been a life-long inspiration for me in my quest to learn to love, respect and value myself. You might also enjoy reading it 

As we embark upon this journey of self-love and acquiring feminine grace, let's always be mindful of dignity, pride and self-respect.  Dignity in our conduct and speech.  Pride in our appearance and overall persona.  Self-respect in virtually everything we do.  These traits will always be our saving grace throughout our journeys in life.Therefore be forever mindful of them, and hang onto these values like a Pit Bull!
  



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WHEN YOU LOOK GOOD - YOU FEEL GOOD!


Kelly Rowland of Former Girl Group "Destiny's Child"

"Looking Our Best Helps To Boost Our Self-Esteem, But It Doesn't Stop or End There"

Who would have ever thought that Kelly Rowland with all of her beauty and successes, was suffering from low self-esteem and self-worth.  However, by her own admission, she allowed a man to mistreat her horribly and physically abuse her during the height of her career. And, she was jealous of Beyonce.  Low self-esteem and self-worth at it's worst!  Proof positive that low self-esteem and self-worth is not prejudice, it can and will affect any woman at any time, if we don't work at loving and thinking highly of ourselves at all times. We cannot ever afford to get lax in this area.  You must at all costs, make falling madly in love with YOU, your number one priority in life.

We must stop competing with other women, being jealous of their achievements, and thinking their achievements somehow destroys our chances of success or whatever.  Self-love erodes all of this foolishness, because it incorporates dignity, pride and self-respect into our being, and you will come to realize that the success of another doesn’t make them better than you – in any way, shape, form or fashion. Falling madly in love with YOU will destroy all of these fallacies, as you come to value yourself as a person, and love yourself unconditionally.  




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Being “Friendly” Is Not Flirting & You Can Be “Sexy” Without Being “Trampy”!




I can't stress enough how important it is to love yourself and come out of your shell in your search for love and marriage. Stop fearing rejection and take on the attitude that only a dumb man would reject a woman like you. Confidence is key to attracting men and self-love breeds’ self-confidence. It also brings out that alluring woman that is hiding inside of you just waiting to bust loose. A greatappearance increases your self-respect, sense of well-being, and self-confidence.  Therefore, always look your absolute best when leaving home.

Develop a winning personality and exude cheerfulness with everyone you come into contact with on your daily journey through life (male & female). Far too many single women present a lack luster appearance and an indifferent behavior when out and about in their daily lives.    You must turn on that feminine charm whenever you are around men; which is in your everyday life.  You can easily do this, by always looking your absolute glamorous best, sporting some serious self-confidence and a happy-go-lucky persona.  

You guys profess to want to meet a great guy and get married, but I can't tell by the way you are presenting yourself to the world!  You walk around looking like 'hell', and with a bad and unfriendly attitude.  Then you wonder why guys don't approach you and ask you out!  Are you attracted to guys who look like 'hell', and have a bad and unfriendly attitude?

Any woman can be both,alluring and confident – it’s a woman’s birthright that is easily exhibited when you love yourself, love being a woman and totally unafraid to stand out in a crowd and turn heads by looking 'drop dead gorgeous' where ever you go.  It's time to step out of your comfort zones and go get that husband that you really, really want - Ms. Edna Style!  

Every occasion is an occasion that could possibly turn up Mr. Right; so girlfriends, get all 'dolled up' whenever you leave the house, put on your 'happy face', and by all means know that you can be 'sexy' without being 'trampy', and that initiating a conversation and being 'friendly' is NOT chasing.   



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Fat Is So Not Beautiful!



"Love Yourself & You'll Lose The Fat"

I don't think I have ever seen a time when there was so many fat people.  Seriously, we have tons of men walking around looking like they are 6-9 months pregnant.  Women with bellies hanging down to their knees, or more rolls around the middle than Campbell has Pork 'N' Beans; even kids.  Just take a look around if you think I'm lying.  Obese and/or fat people are everywhere, on TV, in airports, at the grocery store, etc.  

There is definitely a disconnect somewhere, and I have to conclude that it is a lack of self-love, dignity, pride and self-respect, the usual culprits. Self-esteem improves by changing both your thoughts and behaviors. You must practice new thoughts and behaviors until you begin to turn the tide of your feelings about yourself. And you must continue practicing them to maintain a healthy love for yourself
 
Overweight people couldn't love or value themselves. If they did, they would be striving to be the best they can be, one of which is looking good and feeling good about ourselves.  I also don’t believe that being skinny is the way to go either.  However, I am an advocate of eating healthy, exercising, and maintaining our weight within the normal range of our Body Mass Index (BMI).  Falling madly in love with self, heals all that ails us.




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Get A Life Ladies!


"Volunteer, Join Clubs, Get A Hobby, Etc.




Go out and seek your own life, and stop waiting for a man to come along and create a life for you.  Fill your life with fun activities, charity work, and things that you are passionate about and enjoy! Enjoy being single, it's not a death sentence. It's a time to do you by exploring your interests, pampering yourself, and helping others. If you will just become happily involved with your life, before you know it, you will be planning your wedding. Love always happens when we least expect it. Just remain active and involved.

Make yourself happy by taking every opportunity to meet new people. Your marital status and not having a boyfriend should not dictate your happiness. Learn to be happy within yourself. We can't always control our circumstances, but we can control how we perceive things. If you constantly bitch and complain about what you don't like about your life, instead of doing something about it, your life will be miserable. When a 'lifetime man' does show up, he is certainly not going to be attracted to someone wallowing in misery.


Don't waste your precious life pining over a lost mate or the lack thereof. Get a life girl, and enjoy it to the fullest. Know that men are like buses, there is always another one coming. Only this time around, we are waiting on the Rolls Royce, and that may take a little longer, so we must enjoy life in the interim. 
 


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DATING IS A NECESSARY EVIL!



DATING MUST BE FUN!  



The bottom line, you must date if you want to meet Mr. Right and get married.  But here’s the deal - you can date smart with dignity, pride and self-respect, or you can date stupidly without standards or direction.

First, let’s define dating.  Dating is when two-people decide to spend time together engaged in public social activities, in order to assess the suitability of each other as a partner in an intimate and exclusive relationship, one that hopefully leads to marriage.  Contrary to popular belief, sexual relations should never be a part of the dating stage.

I believe that most women hate dating because it invariably ends in heartache, theirs; specifically because they are doing it all wrong.  They date men who bear no resemblance to the type of men they admire, respect, and look up too.  They have sex on the first date or without a commitment. They get serious too soon.  They assume every date is Mr. Right.  They try too hard to impress, rather than being impressed.  They treat each date like an interrogation, rather than concentrating on just having fun.  They ignore red flags and make excuses for being treated poorly.  They allow dates to disrespect them with snide little sexual innuendos.  They fail to be themselves. I could go on and on, but you get the picture.

Dating can and should be fun, as every man you date affords an opportunity to know what you want and don’t want in a man.  Love yourself and attack any issues with dignity, pride and self-respect.  It is only when you eliminate these qualities that heartache is allowed to set in.


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Friday, 7 November 2014

HOW TO SELECT A GREAT HUSBAND!



Having been married and divorced twice with not a clue as to how to select a husband, divorce was inevitable.  Not only that, I was not in sync with who I was as a person or what I needed in a marriage to be satisfied, content and happy.  Consequently, as a result of my own blunders in selecting a life-time partner, and what I have learned as a result, I consider myself perfectly capable of instructing you on how to select a great mate. 

In order to attract and catch a great guy, you must also be a great catch.  Therefore, make sure that you are extremely happy and content with yourself, your job, and your overall life in general life. This is what you expect from a great guy, so why not hold yourself to these same high standards.

Secondly, get into you and determine your needs and desires in order to be satisfied, happy and content in marriage. Then seek a man who can fulfill those needs and who possesses those qualities that you admire, respect, appreciate, and look-up to in a man.  Not only is this crucial for you, it is crucial to a man being happy, content and in love.  

Additionally, he must be loving, in to you, supportive,  a caring man with high moral values, and equipped with habits and character traits that clearly demonstrate that he will be a good husband to you and a good father to your children.   

He is not going to be perfect and neither are you, so don't look for or expect perfection.  However, look for the characteristics mentioned above and once in a serious relationship, have serious discussions about moral values, family values, and expected roles as  husband, wife and parents.  There are plenty of great guys out there, so know that you don't have to settle, you just have to be patient, stop looking for love in all the wrong places, and never deviate from the type of man that you admire, respect, look up to, who has admirable moral and family values, and who, like you, is enjoying the amazing life he has established for himself.




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